Ladies, life is full and busy.

Each of us is on a spiritual journey, one day at a time, making our way back to the most authentic version of ourselves.  I am right there with you , Sisters.    I love the idea of becoming a better version of me.   I have a shelf of books on spirituality, health, self improvement … to say nothing of what’s on the tablet!  But it is hard to find time to change meals, incorporate exercise,  and find time to meditate or take a class for ourselves! Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a compact path to self improvement? One that didn’t require rescheduling our whole calendar?

There is wisdom that makes our increased wellness accessible and timely available to us.  We simply need to know where to find it, how to apply it, and have someone by our side to encourage us…. with that in mind, I  would love to begin a series of posts on some of the book that have played a significant role in my own wellness and spiritual journey.

Always fascinated with how your body can convert foods into energy .. for good or evil, I loved Alexandra Jamison’s book Women, Food, and Desire.  WFD was significant in my quest to begin coaching women who are ready to reclaim their health and establish a wellness program tailored for them.

Alex shares her own story with endearing candor as she navigated away from one career path, marriage, and lifestyle into living a life on her own terms, making her own health and happiness a priority.  She shares stories from her own life with humility and humor, encouraging the reader to be honest with ourselves about what we truly want.

One of the first questions she asks her clients … and us … is: What do you want?  What do we want from life.  What do we want IN our life?  Health, happiness, fulfillment …. weight loss, discipline, more passion….   The struggle to find a balance is real and Alexandra Jamieson lays out a path to uncover whats hidden, eliminate the road blocks, and reclaim our right to passion, love, and happiness in our lives.

The parallel between women’s hidden desires and our food cravings runs deep.  Alex makes these connections, assists in identifying what cravings we hide from the world and how we try to cover them even from ourselves.  WFD provides a systematic way to look at our daily habits and choices to determine what void we are trying to fill in our emotional body, and makes it FUN!

The systematic approach to eliminating one possible trigger at a time makes the dietary changes manageable and allows us to determine if the changes are worth keeping long term in our new meal plan.  When we feel better in our bodies, we are ready to play.  We are more willing to make love.  We are better able to love and respect ourselves … which brings us to a place of making empowered choices FOR us.  Your life is YOURS. It is yours to feel beautiful, sexy, and passionate.  Women, Food, and Desire is a great place to start!

Women, Food, and Desire … I have read and rereaad, shared, and even given it to loved ones.  Fantastic content, engaging narratives, and real life application make this a gem to be cherished as a favorite tool on your wellness journey.

worthiness

My current read is Brene Browns, ” The Gifts of Imperfection”.  So many amazing nuggets of wisdom and insight in all of her work!

The thing that is standing out to me today is this sentence, “If we want to experience love and belonging, we must believe that we are worthy of love and belonging.”

She goes on to explain that in her research it seems that this is the one defining concept that separates people who feel loved and have a sense of belonging, versus those who do not.

So where does that leave you?  And how do we increase our sense of belonging and our ability to receive love? We are so good at giving … we have an innate challenge, chip on our shoulder almost, that says: you cant out love me.  And we are often trying to prove that by out loving, out giving those around us. What drives that compulsion?  Im afriad it is a fear of not being enough. A doubt in our own worthiness.

So how do we shift that balance?  Investment.  We value things and people we have emotionally and energetically (and financially) invested in, correct?  And often we put ourselves last, willing to take the leftovers after everyone has been served.  What if we flip that mindset?  What if we took care of the Mamas needs first?  Never to say we should become selfish or neglect the needs of our loved ones, but to say we need to make the list of our loved ones.  Our worthiness comes from the INSIDE.  The value we place on ourselves is the value others acknowledge.

Lets begin.  Together. Here and now.  You carve out time for soccer practice and birthday outings?  Then you can carve out time to meditate or practice yoga.  Lets start making routine investments in our own self worth account.

You ARE worthy.

You ARE enough.

New Traffic Pattern

Recently, I was away for a little change of scenery.  The trip was perfect! Nice weather, good company, excellent food and wine …. who could ask for more?  So grateful for the chance to see and enjoy new things!

On the way, traffic was light, no major construction detours or delays but a sign in a construction are did catch my eye and stick with me.

The sign said, ” New traffic pattern; lane shift ahead”.

Resist the new shifts, the new patterns,  and we all know what happens …. people resist merging til the last second and that creates traffic jams and delays.  Sometimes it creates accidents.  The new traffic patterns are supposed to make things flow more efficiently and it takes a little getting used to but eventually, the new pattern becomes a habit and we grow comfortable with the new.

How true is this in our own lives?  My work as a whole, both massage and coaching, is really assitsing to create new patterns.  If we are in an old pattern of dysfunction … something that may have served us well at one time, but is now outdated and needs reconstruction, we end up in the same place over and over.  Creating new healthful patterns is work.  It takes getting used to… may even cause a traffic jam of emotions or an accident but we do get used to it, and find that even that newness becomes routine.

I like that the sign gave a clear heads up about what to expect.  Two parts… “new traffic pattern.  Lane shift ahead”.  Now, on the highway, we have no choice in the traffic pattern or the lane shift.  However we DO have a choice in our lives.  We can create the new pattern, but recognizing the patterns that are inefficient in our current situation and designing some lane shifts to allow an efficient flow.

Preaching to the choir, ladies. Believe me, i have my share of lanes to shift! and have been… I have been on a dedicated journey to self improvement… clearing blocks, removing inefficient patterns and simplifying … and you know what I find?  I have so much more room for joy and gratitude!

In her book,  “Daring Greatly”, Brene Brown shares that there seems to be a correlation between gratitude and happiness.  That people who express more gratitude have a more abiding sense of joy than people who express less gratitude.

So the first new traffic pattern, the first lane shift is to consciously turn our attention to what we DO have.  To be thankful for our health, our current body our relationships, this gratitude allows more room for joy, joy in turn allows for more gratitude and we develop a pattern of increasing joy and gratitude.

There is no upper limit … no ceiling to our gratitude except what we place there ourselves.  SO …. new traffic pattern …. expressing gratitude.  I would like to propose a three pronged approach to this building gratitude and joy campaign.

We need to acknowledge our own worth, our value to others,  and the joy in the world around us.  So my thought for developing a new pattern for the traffic of our thoughts is this:  3 things i am grateful for about ME…. physical, mental or emotional things I value in myself.  such as: Strong legs to carry me to work, or on a walk to increase my health; dedication to my improvement; my yoga practice. OK there are three things I value about myself for my own benefit and self care.  Now, three things that I value in myself that I share with others ( this is easier than finding value for self I think for most of us): Compassion; ability to listen; active deconstruction of any judgement i recognize.  Lastly, this is the easiest I would think … three things i am grateful for in the world around me:  my new move to downtown Mystic …. lovely and inspiring every day;  sunshine!; the highway system, enabling us to get to places far and near with relative ease.

Gratitude as a lifestyle will cause new traffic patterns to emerge, the lanes will shift, and your joy levels will increase dramatically!  Blessings this day, dear friends.  May your day be filled with small moments of increased gratitude and recognized joys!

Lifestyle transition

Where do you start?  Where do we begin to unravel where one stops and another begins?

Whether the transition is a break up, a child going away, a new career or something else the gap left by the newly missing pieces is a hole.  A hole that needs to be filled with something.  How do we take this opportunity to create a new lifestyle that incorporates things that are healthy for us, and allows us to create our new identity as well as feeling whole again.

This is a time for some soul searching. A time to discover what we have ignored for so long.  What goals and desires did we have that we forgot?  Do we still have those dreams and what new dreams have come to us?  Why haven’t we pursued them?

What habits fill our lives, take our time, money and energy keeping us from feeling that hole?  What is the self talk running on a continuous loop in our heads keeping us from making life affirming choices and building a better lifestyle?  Lack of self trust and self love sabotage and cripple us.

When we have put our goals, needs and desires on the back burner because we believed some one else was more deserving than ourselves, we reiterate to our minds and hearts: we are not worthy.  Then our choices and decisions are processed through that filter.

Its time to change the filter.

Its time to put ourselves first…. not to be selfish and narcissistic, but to treat ourselves like someone we love.  We need to be healthy and fulfilled in order to give soul nourishing love to others.  We must begin with ourselves.  We are worthy.  We are loved.  We are enough.    It’s time to revolutionize our mindset with positive love and nourishment for ourselves.

Where do we start?   With self care.

Self care in emotional, mental and physical ways.  For myself, that begins today on my yoga mat.  Time to strengthen and honor my body; quiet the mind; soothe the emotions.  I invite you to journey with me.  You are worthy of time and nourishment.  I invite you to be good to yourself today.

Namaste